I offering my heartfelt dandavats pranams to my beloved Srila Gurudeva, nitya-lila pravista Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayan Goswami Maharaja, also to my beloved siksa-guru Srila Bhaktivedanta Madhava Goswami Maharaja, all Guruvarga, my beloved Srimati Umarani Didi. Also I offering my dandavats pranams to dearest Ranga Didi, she is always extremely kind, caring and affectionate to me. And dearest most Sripad Brajanath Prabhu and Srimati Vrinda Didi, who is always taking care of my pure Bhakti high association. And to all beautiful devotees.
Once I herd from Vrinda Didi, she said “ if I have a thousand and thousands of heads like Anantasesa, which means that a thousand thousands mouths, still this is not enough that describe one drop “ of Srimati Uma Didi glories. So I try to write some words as my heart pushpanjali to Uma Didi’s lotus feet and express to unlimited gratitude for Her.
Gratitude is best attitude! — this words told us one Sripad Brajanath Prabhu in Russian class. I feel myself in unlimited depth before Srimati Uma Didi kindness, nourishment, love and affection and extremely sweet association. I never think that I will be swimming in ocean of Her love and affection, sometimes come to Her room and drink Her wonderful Harikatha. It’s happened only by causeless mercy of Vrinda Didi, she took my hand and brought in Uma Didi’s room in Kartika vrata at 2011. from that time I had super sweet time with Uma Didi, when I had opportunity to come for Srila Gurudeva’s Parikrama (Sri Vraja Mandala Parikrama or Sri Navadvipa Dhama Parikrama).
Srimati Uma Didi always is so observed in teaching of Srila Gurudeva and Rupa Amiga Guruvarga, and as well as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu Himself. I called Her “siromani of guru-nishta”, She is always inspiring me and all devotees to be loyal to Srila Gurudeva . Srila Gurudev used to say: “Guru-nistha is backbone of Bhakti. If a person does not have such faith, then he will not have any devotion.“ Her devotion to Sri Guru was so extremely strong, that we could see Her motherhood to all devotees like Srila Bhaktivedanta Vamana Goswami Maharaja, her overwhelming love and affection like Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayan Goswami Maharaja and her cutting sweet chastisement like Srila Bhaktivedanta Trivikram Goswami Maharaja has cutting material attachments.
I remember one story with Her using her name. She was always so strong and don’t like that devotees by use Her name with take donation for any purpose for seva or whatever. She doesn’t like it and not allowed use Her name if it will be very important service. She used to say ” I prefer to depend from my Guruvarga “. In this case I saw that use the name of any Vaisnava, our beloved Gurudeva for any purpose is very and very important. We have to be very and very careful with Name of Gurudeva and Guruvarga, his books and his mission. We have to be worshipped His Name, to every thing that connects us with Him, as much as cloth what we had received from Him, especially safran or white cloth. In Navadwip Parikrama 2020 (I guess) she had told to one Sannyasi, who was just received sannyas order that “he should worship this cloth every day”. I was so amazed and inspired that time to listen it.
Also about her focus mood and guru-nishta. Srimaty Uma Didi used to say “My Guruvarga gave me everything. Their Harikatha is unlimited ocean of tatva-sidhanta, that even till to end of my life air I will not able to finish their teachings what they kindly gave to us”. Sometimes She was extremely bold with listening others. It’s seems like that She wasn’t allowed to listen other Vaishnavas. But this is not truth. Once She asked me when I came to her room after one program with wonderful Vaisnava, who is good friend with our beloved Srila Gurudeva, so She asked:” what you get there for your bhajan?” I was a little shocked. I even don’t think about. It seems like I just like a cow, even a monkey, who is going and jumping here and there, every thing is externally. I felt that I not enough appreciates that the gift and nectar I received from Srila Gurudeva’s Harikatha, his books and especially mantras. How value is it?!
Once she told me: you have to always be in sadhu sanga and try to serve to Srila Gurudev and Vaishnavas, by doing so they will always send his blessings on your head”. So I pray to our beloved Srimati Uma Didi, her lotus feet for her blessings that I could continue get Her sweetness association and once really I will able understand why I should all the time pray for one drop of causeless mercy of Srila Gurudeva and Vaishnavas, as She always pray for it all the time.
Sri Bhakti Madhuri Srimati Umarani Didi ki Jaya! Srila Gurudeva and Guruvarga ki Jaya! All Vaishnavas and Vaisnavies ki Jaya! Gour Premanande! Hari Hari Bol!
—Damayanti Dasi